Year of the Cutlass

I've driven my 1997 Oldsmobile Cutlass for over one year. It was originally intended to be a stopgap car. I would drive it until my wife and I saved up some money to buy a new car for her, and then I'd drive our 1999 Nissan Pathfinder.

But the Cutlass turned out to be a decent car. It's not pretty, with it's metallic tan paint, dents and missing trim. But it had only 76K miles when I started driving it last year and has proven to be dead reliable. It's gone another 12K miles and NOTHING has gone wrong on it. Once a week I fill it with gas, and I've changed the oil twice. That's it. In turn it's served me faithfully on my commute to work, weekend errands and transporting kids to ballet, basketball, and swim practice, all while getting around 24 MPG.

There are only two things that have given me trouble. First, driver's door handle doesn't always open from the inside, requiring me to roll down the window and open it from outside. This has been a minor problem, and one that has only truly been embarrassing once. In January I had a job interview in a building with valet parking. The interview lasted until 5:00, so when the parking attendant pulled up, a crowd of people witnessed him trapped in my car.

The second problem was the air conditioner. This summer, when the temperature hit the century mark, the a/c blew cool air, but not cold enough to cool off the car when it sat in the hot sun. Knowing air conditioner repairs can be either a $100 or $1000 fix, I thought I might have to replace the Cutlass. But the fix turned out to be cheaper than $100--much cheaper. The knob for the airflow had broken, so it wouldn't set to the max a/c setting. Channeling my inner McGyver, I used a pair of pliers and some tape to fix the problem.

Besides being cheap to own, there are intangible benefits as well. The Olds provides piece of mind. I don't think twice about parking it downtown, on the street or in a parking garage. I don't worry about it being dented or scratched. And I don't mind squeezing into that space at the mall partially encroached by a shiny new Escalade or some other behemoth. When relatives come to town, including ones who drive like escaped convicts, I don't think twice about handing them the keys.

The car is a rolling punchline and it reminds me not to take things so seriously. People ask me if my grandfather knows I borrowed his car or if I use a fake id to get an AARP discount. I've also been tempted to take it to an expensive restaurant with valet parking, just so I could tip the parking attendant extra to put it in a prominent spot next to a Maserati or Porsche and make sure nothing happens to it.

But the bottom line is this: After one year, I saved $4,800 in car payments. Or to put it another way, this year the Cutlass paid for a new washer and dryer, a new refrigerator, and a family vacation to Florida. And instead of a stopgap car, it has turned into practical longer term solution.

Bad Names for Cars

I'm always amazed at some of the horrible names car companies think up for their cars. Whether it's something lost in translation or the automotive equivalent of bad fashion, some names are just bad and some, like Edsel, are infamously integrated into pop lexicon.

Here are some of my favorites:

Ford Aspire: Clearly a car for people who aspire to own something better.

Suzuki Esteem: The only drivers are ones who lack self esteem.

AMC Gremlin: I'm guessing hobgoblin, gargoyle, and leprechaun were taken? Were the AMC executives dropping acid?

Dodge Dart Swinger: Another name from the early 1970s. I'm sure Ralph Furley from Three's Company had one.

Ford Probe: Intended to be a Mustang replacement, the Probe was actually a decent car with a bad name. Imagine explaining to your insurance company that you were rear ended by a Probe.

Isuzu Hombre: I thought the Hombre was the guy who did those Isuzu commercials years ago, but it was a Jeep type vehicle. They might as well have called it the Isuzu Dude.

Chevy Citation: Nova deserves an honorable mention because it means "no go" in Spanish, and Celebrity was infamous, but Citation is bad in any language. GM should have received a citation for building these cars.

Oldsmobile Achieva: Not sure what it achieved, but it was an under-Achieva that helped lead Oldsmobile to its demise.

Geo Metro: Driving one was kind of like taking the Metro or other public transportation. Cheap plastic interior, noisy, incessant droning from a three-cylinder engine. Suzuki called their version the Swift, which it might have been compared to the Metro because it had an extra cylinder. But Swift was relative. The only way this car was swift is if your other mode of transportation was walking.

Daihatsu Charade: Easily my favorite, hands down. The only way it could be better is if they called it the Daihatsu Masquerade or Punchline. Daihatsu lasted about four years in the US, which is no wonder because they were merely acting out a charade as a car company.

Mustang Cool

Mustangs are cool. They are one of the most legendary and enduring GT cars of all time. Yes, there were the neutered Mustang IIs of the mid-seventies and there's always been something a little blue collar about them. They don't have the breeding or sophistication of a Jaguar, Ferrari, or James Bond's Aston Martin. And you won't see one parked on the lawn at Pebble Beach next to a Talbot-Lago or some other over-restored rare bird.

But then Mustang owners wouldn't park their cars on the lawn. They'd farm it like a NASCAR driver on the infield at Daytona.

Cool. There's a reason why Memphis Raines' unicorn was a modified 1967 Shelby GT500 named Eleanor. Even James Bond drove one in "Diamonds Are Forever". But to me, the coolest one was the 1968 Highland Park Green example Steve McQueen drove in "Bullitt".

The original Bullitt Mustang was a basic, stripped down street machine with Torq-Thrust wheels. It prowled the streets of San Francisco with a 390 cubic inch V8 soundtrack. There were two cars built for the movie. One was supposedly destroyed during filming and the other is hidden away somewhere by a reclusive owner who makes JD Salinger look like Donald Trump.

In 2001 and again in 2008/2009, Ford produced a limited edition Bullitt Mustang to commemorate the movie. The new Bullitt Mustangs share the stripped down look of the original. They aren't the fastest or the best handling, or even the most collectible version. They don't have the 390 cubic inch engine or the legendary 5.0, but they are by far my favorite.

But no matter what version, the Mustang is cool. It has that It factor. Like a pair of Ray-Bans, jeans or Classic Rock there is an honest, American quality to them. Unlike some of the more expensive and pretentious GT cars, you don't have to put on airs to own one. You just drive it.